This is Victor… Although it’s hard to see from this photograph (of Victor in the bath) he is the size of a small puppy. Definitely too big to either wash down the plughole or hoover up without thinking about what happens when you empty the hoover – my two usual method of dealing with spiders. They are emphatically not my favourite arachnids: I prefer scorpions.

As Victor appeared whilst Handsome was indisposed and elsewhere, and I could not deal with him (I was way too embarrassed to ask the neighbours) and Mouse declared that phobias were hereditary so he couldn’t deal with him either – we just left him in the bath. He couldn’t get out and I used the shower. It was fine. Spiders can live an incredibly long time without food; at least two weeks – I didn’t know that before. See? Victor even provided a learning experience!

Then Handsome came home and in a very caring way, evicted Victor into the big wide world outside the bathroom window… I’m sure he’ll be fine, he was big enough to be able to eat next door’s chickens.

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