Handsome was Pedalling for Scotland today – fifty miles from Glasgow to Edinburgh. He was originally going to do the hundred mile ‘sportive’ route, but decided a few weeks ago that his knees just weren’t up to the task… Just as well really, as the route for that one went right past the house, and I think it would have been quite hard to summon up the energy to continue at that point!
I ran him into Glasgow for his 9am start at Glasgow Green this morning, with Hairy and Blossom in the car (they’d been home for Hairy’s birthday), intending to drop him off, pop across town with the kids to their flat, and be home in time for elevensies (not recognised by the spell checker, why ever not? It’s as traditional as afternoon tea). However, I was relying on the satnav to get to H&B’s, because Glasgow confuses me on a good day. Everyone I know says ‘You can’t get lost in Glasgow, it’s built on a grid system…’ What happened this morning went like this:
1. I left Glasgow Green and the satnav told me to turn right. The road was closed.
2. I turned left ( no choice, T junction) and then right and then right again whilst the satnav recalculated.
3. It told me to turn left – there was a policeman there stopping traffic because apparently there was some kind of cycling event.
4. He told me I had to go straight on.
5. I went straight on – the satnav told me to go the wrong way down a one-way street, I declined.
6. The road ahead had Sunday morning roadworks on, so I had to turn left again.
7. We crossed the river – bad move.
8. I found myself in a bus lane; I considered hyperventilating but decided it would be better to find somewhere to stop first.
9. The satnav was now recalculating so much that it was slightly more hysterical than me – Blossom who is unaccustomed to my driving style was being very quiet in the back seat, Hairy was being patient with his obviously old and failing mother.
10. I turned left and left and left and right and recrossed the river.
11. We started ignoring the satnav (which is just as well because it wanted me to go back on the motorway).
12. It ran out of batteries, and we all worked out simultaneously where we were.
The trip in to Edinburgh later to pick Handsome up was child’s play in comparison!